Dear Tommy

Dear Tommy Bowden,

Thank you for bringing our Clemson football team from a low-mediocre team to an upper-mediocre team. I think at this point in time we can both agree that we can't sustain a long-term relationship. You're a nice guy, and I don't want to blame it all on you, but Tommy, you really suck. I'm ready to take it to the next level, and from your performance, it's clear that you're not ready for that kind of commitment. It's not me Tommy, it's you. I wish it didn't' have to be like this, especially because of your really hot daughter, but it's time for us to go in our own directions.

Sincerely,

Your 80,000 closest friends